Quote: Also, he may have needed to do this by himself so he could be alone with the dog for the last time.
I have to agree with HD on this one. That and a little male ego and pride. Personally, I have a hard time burying our animals, but it’s been something I’ve had to do since I was in the eighth grade. It’s very emotional and I frequently cry throughout the process (like I am now as I’m thinking about it). I don’t have any problem with crying – I’m just telling you that to help to illustrate that burying one of the animals is very emotional. I won’t try to psychoanalyze myself here to try to explain WHY it’s that way, but when I’m burying one of them, it’s just something I want to do alone.
Strangely enough, this discussion about burying animals may actually lead to another improvement in my M. I’ve never considered that W might want to be there. Although I freely admit that I want to do it alone, there is also a part of me that was thinking that I was somehow sparing W the pain that I was going through during the burials. Just like telling W that I don’t care where we eat seemed like I was being considerate and letting her pick what she wanted. This group made me see that she was hearing that I was disengaged and indifferent. Now I’m seeing that I’ve been seeing what I felt (that I wanted to be alone), but not considering what W might want (to say goodbye).
In any case, Annette, cut him some slack. It’s difficult. There are a lot of raw emotions right near the surface and it’s sometimes a lot easier to be alone. Just tell him how you feel and that you want to be there to say goodbye. Ask him to include you next time. But since you didn’t specifically ask to be present, give him the benefit of the doubt. He may well think that he’s protecting you.
