I'm sorry you're feeling yuck today. I know how your are feeling. I'm going dark with H right now and I admit it is kinda scary but also at the same time I feel like now I've gotten back some control of me.
I too felt vulnerable and believed everything H told me and got burned so many times. I think H has noticed that I'm no longer reaching out to him.
Hang in there...I know this is a difficult time. If you feel that you need to go dark, then maybe you should. I'll check on you later in the day.
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years