Quote: You might think that I am crazy but I feel that I need a lot of help right now.
Crazy is not asking for help when you need it. There's nothing crazy about needing help.
Quote: Then, H said that he knows that we are married if he likes it or not.....Now we are here and on Friday night he wrote me that card on how he loves me. WTF??? ...
He confuses me, that's for sure. Do you get the sense that he's genuinely conflicted, or that he's jerking you around? Either way, I think space is the key here. For him (if he's confused) but mainly for you. Remove yourself from the chaos.
From the DB Power Thread on LRT... " It's when you can use the "dark" times to work on yourself, and take a much needed break from the chaos. When you can re-center yourself UPON yourself, and not them or your relationship with them. It's when you are able to quit "reacting" to everything your partner does, or doesn't say or do. You begin taking the actions required to make your life situations better for YOU."
Quote: I couldn't help it...I know I started crying...how awful of me...
I know we're supposed to be detached from these hurtful things, but it doesn't seem awful of you to cry when you were so hurt. It's awful that he hurt you like that. And that's why you need to start protecting yourself through detachment and going dark. You need to restrict his access to you (and to your precious heart)
Quote: I am wondering if he doesn't want a divorce because he doesn't want to pay child support or maybe he never wants to marry again.
Who knows? Probably not even him. Don't worry about what he wants. Concentrate on what you want. What he wants will change with the wind.
Quote: I also am thinking that he might just have fallen out of love with me and says he doesn't want to fight because of what we had...not what we will have ever again.
Doesn't want to fight? The man who called you a c--- for telling him about his daughter's medical emergency? I think he doesn't want YOU to fight HIM, but he'll swing all he wants. Just act as if you are in complete agreement, because I know you don't want to fight either.
Quote: his car broke down awhile ago and he might just need me for my credit so that he can get a new one.
Until he's committed to you, I wouldn't get into ANY financial entanglements!
Quote: don't be afraid to say something that will hurt me...I am already hurt!
Now who would want to hurt you more? We all want you to stop feeling such hurt.
I worry about you, Blonde. You have such vulnerability. I think you need to go out and buy yourself a Supergirl nightie (trust me on this one). And buy "Mama Gena's Marriage Manual". Bring some energy and confidence into your world, because you deserve it.
