We don't know what's going on in H's head, and maybe he'll look at his recent actions and sooner or later decide that he's gotten ugly, not being a stand-up guy, and has got to change himself for the better... but until then, if that happens...
Actually, you may be helping make that happen, now that I think about it.
It's good that you took a stand, and spoke to him about this. By so doing, you may appeal to his inner nobility by throwing the challenge in front of him.
Now we all know that family and friends form narrow opinions on our WASs, and seek their relief from your pain by advising you to divorce and move on. Just as WAS have their manual, and LBS have ours, it seems family and friends have theirs too.
Perhaps the way to go about them is to validate them, and let them know you'd rather not discuss this anymore, as this is something that you have to decide for yourself, and would appreciate their love and support with whatever way you wish to proceed. Especially mom. Moms don't want to see their kids in pain. So, yes, DB them.
You wonder what you've done so wrong in life that H has been an ass? Not a thing.
