I was reflecting on this event last night while I was out. The only thing I can figure is that H is filling himself with negative thoughts about you, perhaps to justify what he's involved in. It struck me that he lashed out, as if things were penting up inside him.
I think if you go dark a while, see if he gets to regretting his indefensible obscene attack on you. It's not uncommon for people to soon regret how they reacted and are apologetic. I think also, he needs to know, in a firm but kind non-argumentative way, that such language is absolutely not acceptable.
