Take care of yourself first. Your health comes first.
I wouldn't iniate contact with H. If he calls be as friendly as you can. I know he said some ugly stuff. We have all had our hearts broken by cruel words from our Hs. Just remember to not believe most of what he says. I know that is hard when you are hearing it.
Now is the time to DB, girl. If he says sometimes he wants to come home. It is probably those times that you are friendly that he is remembering and that is making him think about being home. He is confused. You unfortunately have to do all the work. Work hard on your PMA, detaching, and being friendly when you do see or talk to him.
