I am sorry I havent been posting as much...and I feel the pain you are experiencing right now. I have been there a few times. Do not give an ulitmatum right now, you are not going to like the answer. Trust me on that one. ANd if you are not going to back it up 100% then it becomes meaningless when you do finally mean it. Drop the rope meaning GAL and go about your business and see what happens. DOnt run out and start a divorce, just do your own thing, breath and start taking care of you for yourself and your daughter. H will start to see what he is missing.
So sorry. I haven't been posting much either. Take care of you and your D. Give this time, the way your H and ow are acting (like teenagers) it can't last. You work on you, GAL, detach, and when that train crashes--YOU will look like the better choice. But, it takes lots of patience. You have been so cheerful and upbeat in other people's post. Take that and let that be what your H sees even if you don't feel it. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Sherry
Sorry for not being around. I just got back from Rancho Mirage. I don't like hearing you like this. Now listen...
About a week ago, you were writing about your H and the OW and the situation with the lying and the running around and so on and so forth (man, I sound like Schwarzenegger!). During this time, you sounded so confident, self-assured and strong. It was uplifting to all of us. That's the Michelle that needs to come out. Where is she? Go find her, look in all the rooms, under the bed, behind the shower curtain, she's there somewhere.
I know you can do it! There's a weekend coming, what are your plans? Figure out something fun, get the hell out of Lakewood. Go to RLP again if you have to, it is beautiful out there. He can't think it's killing you. Show strength. In my opinion, you don't have to be sweet and sugary to him, just give him the impression that you are moving on with your life, with or without him. It'll either turn him around (great) or it won't (but the process will make you better).
Things are just really tough right now. I am still a strong woman I just am having a weak time. I want to thank you for all of your support and freindship. I will update more later. H is suppose to pick up D1 and take her to see his mom. It better not be to see the OW because if I find that out I will chop off his balls Oops did I say that...LOL! I am trying to be really strong today but I know when my D1 leaves things will be rough. Guess what? I ate one piece of pizza today...I have had a hard time eating and sleeping. I even slept for a straight 4-5 hours. Yeah! I got up curled my hair and put on all my makeup....I look happy today everyone at work is telling me.......I will keep you posted.
Just act as if you are happy . I know it is hard. But be yourself. Smile, don't let him see that this is bothering you. Don't let him see you upset over this. Wait until he leaves to cry. Do you have anyone to be with you or any place to go while he has your daughter? Try not to be all alone. You want think about things as much if you are not alone.
Okay here it goes. I survived! LOL H picked up D1 and of course brought his mom for moral support...I guess he doesnt want to be around me alone. I had mixed feelings when he came. I love him but I hate him at the same time. I did give him a quick hug and he told me that he is sorry.(I guess that he is sorry that he doesnt want to be together) I just smiled...I wanted to cry because I miss D1 so bad right now. I spoke to H sister and she said that she thought that we would have a future together until she spoke to him last night and he was so defensive over the OW. I am trying to detach more and more. H wanted to know what I was going to do until I pick D1 up tonight....I said just a little of this and that. H wanted my D to stay the night with him. I am just not ready for that yet! I wish things could be different right now and now I am confused that we might never have a chance again. I dont know where to go from here but I am trying. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Your H is all over the place these days...from one minute to the next. I can relate to that, and believe me it will subside either way. My H used to flip flop daily wether he wanted us or her. You did great yesterday. I know how hard it was for you to let H take D1...But you did a good job. When H and I were seperated H never asked about his visitation with D. It never was an issue I guess, because he kept coming around every day. My sitch is a little different only because OW is 3k miles away, so he has nothing to do if they arent talking on the phone. Be strong Blonde. Let things develop, H and OW are doomed, they cant handle even a tiny fight without acting like kids.
You will start to look like the better choice if you GAL...But GAL for you and D1...Not H. If he comes around it will be because you are feeling better about you.
It sounds like you still want your M even though you are having conflicting feelings. I know all about that, I think most of us do. GAL and detach. I know that seems hard to do. It does help if you start focusing on YOU and your D. I have been conflicted in my R with my H, but I really don't think about ow that much. I finally have realized she is not worth my energy and doesn't deserve my emotions. My kids and I deserve that. Your D needs you to be strong. Keep your PMA up and focus on YOU. Your H will notice, esp when he has a fight with ow. You will start to look like the better choice.
Oops did I say that...LOL! I am trying to be really strong today but I know when my D1 leaves things will be rough. Guess what? I ate one piece of pizza today...I have had a hard time eating and sleeping. I even slept for a straight 4-5 hours. Yeah! I got up curled my hair and put on all my makeup....I look happy today everyone at work is telling me.......I will keep you posted.