Oh BlondieQT, they're like two 15 year olds when it comes to their relationship. How many 15 year olds make it last? They're a divorce waiting to happen. Let them implode. You keep going, and H will one day have his fantasy love become his next failed relationship, in which case then he's going to say, "WTF did I do?" or you'll be with some great guy you wouldn't give up for the world, or better yet, one day his fantasy love will have become his next failed relationship and he's going to say, "WTF did I do?" and you'll be with some great guy you wouldn't give up for the world. That happens many, many times. As long as you grow and learn, how can you lose?
I feel like I am the walking dead. Sometimes I wish that I wasnt around to have to get all of this pain. Not that I want to be dead or anything. I wish this was all over. I cant stand having my H with the OW. It hurts so bad. I dont know how to DB from here. Can you help!
Sorry you're feeling so lousy. Sorry you are in such pain. Unfortunately I don't think you have detached enough yet.
I mainly wanted to offer my sympathies but I suppose I could add in a couple of cents as well. I also think R with OW will spontaneously implode if you leave it alone. I do not think though that your marriage cannot be salvaged as long as OW is in the picture. I know it's like saying he can have his cake and eat it too, but I would take what he gives you in terms of a R and ignore the OW. I've seen other examples where the husband chose the OW, but then the LBS became the OW. It all depends on whether you are willing to accept your H having a relationship with another woman.
Have you been doing all you can to get a life? Have you been looking out for yourself? I know it's not easy even when you are getting a life to take your mind off your spouse. If you have been doing what you can to get a life and make yourself more attractive (I'm talking on the inside, but the outside is okay too) then he'll be drawn back to you. But does he deserve you? Something I find useful when I think of my wife with another man is to repeat to myself...doesn't matter because there isn't anyone out there as good for her as me. No other relationship could hold a candle to the one with me. It might be conceited, but it helps.
I hope you get to feeling better. If you have the time and money why don't you go do something nice for yourself. Get a massage, buy a new outfit, get your hair done. If you don't then take a nice bubble bath with candles. Whatever turns your crank.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
I'm reading this thinking that they are my thoughts! My husband had an EA (or so he says )with a coworker and I keep bringing it up. Every time I do we get into a fight. It's like that cheeseless tunnel thing! I'm definitely not perfect and understand some of the issues my husband has had with me. I'm trying to focus on myself and not on him. Thanks for the insight and for making me feel like someone understands!
I am losing my H fast. Its like OW has a spell over him. What is the last step in trying to save it before he is gone completely......All suggestions welcome! I dont want to lose him!
I mean "drop the rope" completely. You have a daughter together means just speaking when needing to about her. I can't say whether or not this is your next step, I'm just answering the question you asked about what is the last step.
An ultimatum is usually the very last step, but unless you're ready to follow through and walk and live with it not coming down on your side and will move on whichever way it goes, just try letting go completely before you get to that ultimatum point. Let go, move on. If that doesn't do it, then it's not going to happen right now.
because you weren't expecting anything else.