NY NY NY, in reading your reply I saw that I was DEAD WRONG. Of COURSE ,the A doesn't end with one fight!!! Not even 3 or four or intese pressure, or screaming psycho husbands. Example- My H spent New Years Eve with OW, I think all is solid with them , they are offically 'out there' to the public now. Two weeks later I get told from SIL that my H was very distraught, told his Mom that this was not working out as he had thought, and didn't see OW as someone that he could make a committment to long term. I was elated!!! There may stil be a chance,for me- right??? Then , next thing i know he is bringing her down for Easter to meet his Mom (MIL was not impressed, but then again, she doesn't have to be, its H's choice not hers)and beforehand she was talked up as being this real smart, good with numbers whiz, blah blah blah.MIL thought she was nice but kinda plain, and alot of really stupid stuff came out of her mouth ( I chalked that one up to meeting- the- mom nervousness) I heard a week or two after that that he complained that the kids are unruly, they walk all over OW , whatever. Next thing I hear he is building this huge house, way larger than a single guy needs. But perfectly laid out for a family of 4. I see him on the 12th , say call me if you want to, or maybe you are not allowed anymore(kiddingly) and he chanages subject reallll fast. Now I find out they have a accident, she is hurt, may have an illness they didn't know about,may need operation, she credits him with saving her life(my hero), major guilt on his part (I am sure) over accident, now he has to rescue again.Plus her D is coming up which he would of course be ther for her. There is never any shortage of drama for these two and I am thinking thats what H is craving these days (yuk- give me laughter and fun and adventure that doesn't involve yelling and crying and pressure). But any way ya slice the pepperoni here, this is NOT over. In fact -though this latest turn of events was NOT planned, I am sure she will manage to parlay it into a marriage proposal. Last year every time she felt my H slipping away, she'd pull some stunt to get him to come "protect" her. I am seeing now that she probably instigated the fights with her H so she could call mine!But he WANTS to do this for her, and I think thats what hurts me. Willing to do anything for her, unwilling to try to fix us. And you are also right that if the R is to be fixed the LBS has to do most of the 'work' at least in the beginning. I just get frustrated sometimes. And i so wish I had found all of you early on in my sitch. I feel certain I would have been able to help us back to a better R.
