I am sitting here reading your post and its as if you picked the thoughts right out of my brain. I have said some of those things so many times. "You never gave us a chance because you never stopped talking to OW' Its true! How can you see what your feelings are when you have someone else tugging your heartstrings in the other direction. Its like a brick wall. Then about the responsibilities in the house. My H has gotten better about that, but still no baths. I do that! But one thing you have to start doing (as I do too) is stop trying to put blame on the arguments of the past. If A's have taught us anything it is that something was wrong in the M for it to have happened. What was wrong, that may not be obvious but something was wrong in our spouses minds. I've tried to look hard at myself and see some of the things that I may have done to contribute to H's unhappiness. I have come up with some, and changed those traits about myself. If anything it is making me a better person, as your changes are for you. H even told our counselor (in the summer) that there is nothing wrong with me. Its him and he doesnt know why.
You seem to be a black and white person, like myself. so for us shades of grey are very hard to deal with. I still cant fathom why this is going on? I guess we will never know. My H has shown remorse on a few occasions about the sitch but for the most part ignores that it is even happening. The fact that your H has said that if things progress the way they have been there is a chance for you. You may not have like his delivery but that was him declaring his willingness to try. Dont ya think?
Its ok to vent - just dont stay in that place too long...It creates resentment. Hell I just vented on my thread. But I vent to get it out of my head. Then I try to pick myself back up and be positive.
