Jo, I appreciate your positive view of W's move toward a healthier sense of self that includes sexuality. I actually introduced her to her "bunny" vibe, as an attempt to prove to her that she could orgasm. And she did! Unfortunately, I'm now replaced by a damn rabbit! I do remain a bit worried about an OM, yet I've gotta drop the rope, including there too.
Kim, Koshka, and M, thank you for your WOA regarding my efforts to change and communicate about my feelings. I do need to get better at that with women in convos. Kim, sounds like you are working hard at self-care, and I know that will pay off for you in the end. Consistency is key, eh? I'm really happy that I've been able to keep things going for 6 solid months - hope to do so for the rest of my life. Koshka, I've enjoyed your view of fatherhood all along, and I value your compliments highly.
Hope, thanks for your positive view on W's explorations - noting that if we ever get back together, that she'll be more appreciative of what I have to offer her.
Bulldogr, I'll be going up for Associate (from Assistant). Not for a little over 1 year, but I'm already eyeing it. I'm confident - I will win it. I'll do what it takes to secure it. I appreciate the invitation. I'll let you know if we get near Cheyenne. You are very perceptive - regarding the letter. Yep, I definitely was resenting some anger and bitterness. I was struggling with thoughts about the unfairness of her behavior and her abandonment of our M, but I've forgiven her,realizing that I had my share in our M problems. I won't be showing her the letter - it was my way of purging some negative stuff. I will communicate s/t brief in the form of forgiveness if she ever expresses guilt, etc... as that would be needed there, I think.
Went to work out with two colleagues, then out to dinner at a sushi bar with one of them. I assertively carved out time to run 3 miles by myself, knowing I needed it and that I'd resent not going if I didn't. The old me wouldn't have done that. The dinner partner was the WAH I've mentioned in the past. Always helps me to see W's perspective a bit better listening to him. His LBS is doing many wrong things, first pleading/begging, then retaliating legally in the D proceedings. W and I currently are at a much healthier, peaceful state. Yet he'd say things like "a person never changes" and "you meet someone else soon who will treat you right." Also the complete blame of the other person for the M problems, only owing to "my mistake in marrying her." Made me realize that W may have quite a ways to travel. The WAH did note, "You have really changed and taken advantage of this. I predict that in the future, she'll see things differently, and the two of you ....[here his voice trailed off and he got flustered] may become great friends!" He seemed pleased with this resolution, and I merely smiled and nodded, knowing that he couldn't fathom the idea of a reconciliation in his WAS worldview. Lots of illogical steps in that world, as he had no problem with living nearly completely off credit cards, buying a new car while in this broke state, and eating out at restaurants for dinner every night. And he is in "serious" therapy that is supposedly helping him to move forward as aperson. I saw a lot of superficial distracting, and imagined little goal-setting or hard, honest discipline to his living.
I'm not into sushi usually, but went along on a whim to try something different, and ordered and ate raw squid, in honor of S5, who is fascinated by them right now. Yumm! Actually not great, but not bad either. W called me while we were there, so it was great mystery. She couldn't help herself and asked "with who?" so I admitted WAH. S5 was beside himself when I mentioned that I ate squid asking me about 10 questions, like "Did you eat the beak?"
Later that eve, I called W, who asked me to do so if I could to talk about S5 and his school. When I called, she was asleep and sounded very sexy on the phone. I apologized and told her I'd talk to her in the morning but she said she wanted to talk. We chatted for a bit about him, then she mentioned my sushi adventure. Seemed to be shocked that I'd eat anything raw and from the ocean (W is from the midwest and likes 2-4 legs on her roast beast). I had fallen into a rut in our M regarding adventure, so it was nice for her to see a bit of that recaptured in me.
Tonight, as dropoff neared, I called W's cell to see if she were home (to avoid us waiting outside - I don't have a house key, despite being landlord). W told me she was out at dinner, so we read more books. So S5 and I read more bedtime stories. W and her GF who is supportive of M were at the house. I found it reassuring for her GF to purposefully stick around for the dropoff, as if for me to see that W is not dating an OM. Trying not to read too much into this.
Today, I thought about my convo with the WAH and most WAS quick efforts to easily escape the hard work of change. Fellow DBers, you have taken the road less travelled by. Harder, rockier, and steeper, yes. But that will make all the difference. I truly appreciate your companionship on this journey. Let's travel it well, shall we?
I do remain a bit worried about an OM, yet I've gotta drop the rope, including there too. 
