As you said once before on my thread when you were realtively new, I think you and I were separated at birth. Our sitches, our transgressions, our W's behavior, our K's... It is so similar that it is eerie sometimes. Your letter to W has so many of my sentiments expressed in it. My W has always been insecure about herself that I think her self-hatred, too, caused her to be just as abusive to me as she said I was to her. My W admitted her jealousy of me to me one time b/c she was jealous that I had so many interests and was so good at so many things, i.e. I had a life besides her, and there was nothing she was particularly good at or interested in, i.e. no hobbies of her own. It was then that I made a greater attempt to play golf with her since that was something that she felt interested in. By my own admission, my temper would interfere at times, but I thought we had more enjoyable times than bad. I tried.
I don't have a lot to add to everybody else's good advice except that your W seems to be expressing more anger towards you than maybe previously, though intermittently.
I agree with your hopes that your W is able to grow through her choices, as I do mine. I just fear that my W will grow away instead of back to me. And I know that I have no control of that.
Congratulations (that's a longer word than I remember) on your upcoming tenure. Are you sitting for Associate or full Professor? We lost a great Asst. Prof. to tenure hearings b/c he didn't accomplish the amount of research the board thought appropriate. However, he was an outstanding teacher. Today's Land-Grant University is too focused on bringing research through it's hallowed halls and has lost the importance of the teaching side of things. It's the almighty dollar and public institutions aren't exempt.
You'll have to keep me abreast of your travel itinerary to Wyoming. I'm 20 minutes from Cheyenne in Northern Colorado and if you passed through the area, I'd love to be able to meet you. It's funny, my S5 (this month) keeps asking if we can go camping. I know W would never take him, but I'll be damned if Daddy will rob him of the experience. Yellowstone is a must do for me and the K's in the future.
Hang in there, buddy. Did I catch a twinge of anger or bitterness in your letter of forgiveness to your W? I may be off base, but I think in the long run the letter is something you properly kept to yourself. However, I commend you on releasing that anger as it will bring you even more peace in the future. Living a life through forgiveness, being "Christ-like", has done wonders for leveling my angry tendencies.
