Largo and Kim, thank you for the WOA. Very timely!
Jo and Anne, I truly appreciate your female perspective. As a man, I can get so p!ssed that W is not recognizing or reacting to my changes, or seems to be pulling for yet more from me while she walks away. I can see how my WOA, especially those targeting her parenting, may help her self-esteem.
Anne wrote:
Quote: if she is MLCing, like I think my H is, and Bulldogr’s W, then remember that self-esteem is what she needs, what she is after, and lack of it may be keeping her in the fog. If she GALs (in a healthy way) and gets more self esteem, more self-love, she may find it easier to realize how much she loves you.
Wow! Anne, this clicks! I get it. You've just helped me to wash away a ton of building resentment and to let me refocus on my role. Yes, she is doing some healthy forms of GAL work. And I need to value that work at a higher level. I do hope there is a connection b/t a hopeful increase in her self-esteem and her ability to see my love for her and possibly rediscover hers for me.
K and JRB, I appreciate the advice about boundary setting. It is true that I need to maintain my self-respect and keep our interactions so that mutual respect is built, not one-way. And I won't be trying to buy her love back.
