Hi Lost, Jo, and Koshka - thanks for posting to my thread!
Lost, I appreciate you noticing patterns in W's behavior for me. Sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees... for example, in terms of W showing me that she is running and doing other new things, you wrote:
Quote: You never know. But at least she is starting to do things that are nothing to do with being obsessed with work.
I do hope she's noticing and appreciating my changes. Thank you for noting that she needs her space and that this takes time. I need to strengthed my patience again. In sitches like mine, where the WAS rushes to D, it is hard to keep an eye on the big picture (beyond D) to heal to the R and bring about the same process of reconciliation.
Jo, I meant no offense about writing 'fun' stuff. I admire that kind of writing. You and I have a similar focus. I study stress response in preschoolers and parents, especially fathers. I had focused on extreme topics like domestic violence and child abuse (definitely not fun stuff) but am moving toward 'lighter' positive topics like the benefits of fathers for boys and girls. I want to order one of your books! I'm always on the lookout for non-mainstream intervention/preventive health techniques. Please email me at gabriel_j_y@yahoo.com would you, with how to do so?
The previous summer, W and I started a fantasy book - I actually drafted two young characters with the traits/strengths and vulnerabilities of her and I. It was fun, dreaming up a story over our glasses of wine. As in other situations, I noticed that W really struggled with fantasy, trying to make it a very analyticaly process. She both admired and criticized my ability to fantasize/dream, saying that I 'never' followed thru (just not true), and not quite seeing that the beauty of fantasy includes being abl to learn from an experience without having to live through it. I'll try to pick that up as a hobby when I'm back in the house. Thanks for the encouragement on that, K.
A question for you all. A former graduate student who knows our situation and is probably W's best friend right now contacted me about applying to the program I'm more affiliated with (I train master's level mental helath counselors). I'm a bit concerned about boundaries (I haven't talked to her in several months), but I also take it as a positive that she's pursuing this training, knowing that I would be a main faculty member/supervisor in the program. Perhaps she's seen W and my sitch in a balanced manner, seeing that I'm fair/trustworthy? W brought her FF's application up, asking wistfully if we'd accepted her (I gave no confirmation, as we're still deciding). Any cautions, heads-up?
