Thanks Jo, and no offense taken (nor from you previously, M).
I like the complementing idea. Its a good way to view our differences toward S5. And I truly want to be kinder to her regarding her mothering. I think I'm already starting to do this somewhat successfully - hence, her calling me up to talk about parenting stuff. Mostly, I think my validating of her upsets or her effort has been pulling more contact from her. I would love to see her self-esteem go up, and I would be more than happy to help feed that via her mothering.
W chose S5's name - I really wanted Raphael at first - another arcangel's name (I know, very self-focused! ), but she won me over after I read his writings in the Bible.
W called me again just before I ran over to meet her to watch S5 in his last swim lesson for the term. She was just checking in about summer camps and was dividing up the investigation/registering work with me. So he's definitely our 'cement' or bond. She was pleasant at the lesson, yet distant, I think feeding off my funk today. I feel very tired, so I'm going to exercise early and go to bed earlier. I probably need close to 7.5 hrs of sleep and only getting about 5, and thats not going to cut it longterm.
I appreciate the kick up the arse, Jo (No, not that way! ) If it helps me and W do some baby dancing, I have to send you a more formal thank you!
), but she won me over after I read his writings in the Bible. 
) If it helps me and W do some baby dancing, I have to send you a more formal thank you! 