Your emails were good. Well done. Apologising and warm but non-emotional and to the point.
I love your son's name - how very biblical, it goes very well with your name.
My baby who died, he was due on Boxing Day 03 and I said to H if it's a boy we should call him Gabriel after the Angel. He looked at me funny and said no way are we naming our baby after an Angel He picked out Gianni for a boy, after my father. I was kind of flattered that he'd want to name him after my dad. We never thought of a name if it was a girl.
My dd who is 5, she's called Lucia which is Latin for 'the light' and I think that's really unusual. I chose it and call her Lulu, which apparently is also American Indian for little rabbit'
Anyhow, I'm rabbiting on as usual
I wanted to write some things to think about with your son, hope you don't mind.
1. Every time you are hard on your W, even if only because she notices rather than you saying anything, she will be hurt and it moves you away from possible reconcilation.
2. Being critical of her mothering is as major as being critical of the way she sleeps with you or the clothes she wears. You can put across your point without being harsh.
3. Everyone has different parenting styles, so it's obvious that she will do some things differently to you. Re-frame your mind so you see it as complimenting each other's skills rather than working in opposition. For instance, she sometimes gets cross with S5 and is passionate about stuff, you provide the other end of the scale so you balance each other out which makes things even for your son.
4. Without her, you would not be a father. Without him, you'd have no reason to see your W. He is your joint reason. He will cement your union if you don't fight over him.
5. If you do a great job of saying what a great mom she is, her self-esteem will go up, she'll get less crabby with S5 and she'll start giving you more love points and may eventually fall in love with you.
When you complimented me once on being a good mother, I felt great, and that was from a stranger, so think what affect it would have on her.
6. It's 180 for you if you refrain from being critical over S5, an action which is likely to draw her closer.
He is the glue that binds you together. Prove to her that you are glad she is your W and you are glad she gave birth to S5, and she'll probably be begging you for some of the old baby dancing
Not wishing to cause offence, I simply think the odd kick up the arse does wonders for motivation ocassionally
He picked out Gianni for a boy, after my father.
