I agree with Martha BUT I also think that perhaps you are a being a bit hard on your W.
I know you are putting in a lot and how difficult it is, but I don't agree with the previous poster who said 'what's she putting in?' - she is getting a D, so right now she doesn't feel the obligation to put anything in.
You are DB'ing, not her. She is the WAW, therefore if you want to save your R, it will be you doing most of the work. That is tough but true. It is no sense in thinking what you're 'entitled' to as the last poster said.
Being 'entitled' never got anyone anywhere. For a long time my WAH hated me to death. He couldn't give a monkey's about the R. I had to do all the work to get where I am now and it's only been very recently he's started giving anything back. Even now I would say I do 80% of the R work. And it's worth it for the 20% I get back.
There's one way to hurt a woman the most and that's through her child. She feels vulnerable and scared. She lacks confidence. She chose you for the father of her child so she's looking to you for confirmation that she is a good mother.
If you start being picky at what she does, she will just think that you think she is a rubbish mother and that will really hurt her.
I remember once I took my dd to the seaside for the day and it was on his contact day because I don't have a car and that was the only day the bus went.
We had a great time but when I got back, he rang me with a load of verbal abuse and I ended up in tears which is why I changed my phone number. I know that you're a great guy and you wouldn't do that, but try to think that stuff happens in life and it isn't always possible to stick to a schedule.
W probably told you about taking him away because she wanted to involve you in the experience in a limited way and get confirmation that she is trying to be a good mom.
I'm sure she will offer you another time if you say to her that you would like to have S5 again.
You can win this woman through your child. He is the link between you.
Don't let petty disagreemnts over him or your parenting styles get in the way of your R.
Said as a non-custodial mother who loves my husband and wanted anything for him to think I was a good mummy.
I had all these arguments, it just takes you further from your goal.
