I appreciate your ability to give some possibilities from her perspective. I see how stressed and worried she might be about being a 'single' parent. And I like how she's coming to me to coparent with her.
Yesterday I watched S5 for a bit longer, as W had committed herself to another eve meeting at work, and it made no sense for him to have to sit thru it with her when he could be enjoying himself with me. I made us a nice dinner after a visit to the library for a few movies and some books. S5 really seems to enjoy my reading to him - I think we both miss that nightly pasttime that we shared since his first several months of age.
At dropoff, W asked if I wanted to keep our kitchen table, noting "it looks so nice in here." She also asked if I wanted our dishware (we received the dishware as wedding gifts). She seemed hurt when I said no to both, especially about the dishes. I reversed myself in a brief email this am, noting my need to be financially frugal for now. W commented on a student she knows I'm doing research with, noting how 'insane' the student is, and insinuating that she's a tramp. I wanted to say, "That 'little floozy' just earned me another $1000 in summer support for me and S5!" but decided not to. I just noted that I know both her parents had their parental rights terminated in her early childhood, and imagined how she must have gone thru some rough stuff for that to have happened. W acted taken-aback at hearing that and didn't say anymore.
I'm been struggling with resentment toward W over the past 24 hrs. Last night, when she mentioned she and S5 were traveling to Cape Canaveral to see NASA, I didn't act "as-if" happy for them, merely noting that he would be missing his tball game on Sat (was hoping to go). This a.m. I was grumpy at pickup, and I washed/wiped off a layer of mousse from his hair that W had slathered on the little guy. She noticed and rushed to the kitchen. I did this 'cause her mousse jobs leave him looking like plastic man, and when it flaks off, it looks like he has a major case of dandruff. I know she'll take this as me picking on her, but I didn't point it out to her, she merely noticed. I tried to explain this in the same early email today.
Went to lift weights and run 3 miles late last night. Probably need to get to bed earlier to raise that PMA, and to adjust my behavior and thinking for today. I'm looking forward to IC at noon today - first time in 4 weeks.
