Wow!!! What a great perspective and approach. You have given me a lot to think about. I never realized how much I was trying to hold on to the past relationship and trying to fix "it" and not focusing on the kind of relationship I want with him in the future!!! Wow!!!! I have been doing a lot of self-reflection about what sucked about our relationship and have decided it was because I was so BORING!!! I can see that I had become very one-dimensional. I lost myself and started living entirely in his shadow. I no longer was me: the loud, vivacious, out-going person I was years ago. I guess motherhood transformed me more than I realized. I believed that as long as we had a great sex life (which we did) everything would be okay. But again, I became a shell of myself. So now that the tears have dried up (for the most part) I have been going out, having fun, learning new things, etc. I have lost about 47 lbs. ( I look great) and feel great. I know that he has noticed because he has commentted on the physical change. I guess he can't really trust the psychological changes yet. Your advice was great. I will be more future-oriented now. Thank you so very, very much. M
