I spent most of last night at the ER. Not fun. Basically, the ultrasound showed that my uterus is now empty... There was still some hcg in my blood, but way too little and probably headed down. I definately was pregnant, and had lost it.
By Saturday night, I already knew I had lost the baby. I already felt empty. I didn't want to go to the ER. However, I was still bleeding...and I was feeling pretty light-headed.
I thought about going to work today. Being busy sounded nice, and I have a lot of stuff going on this week. It's a bad week to miss. However, I didn't get home until 3am...and I was still feeling weak. I also figured, if having a misscarriage and staying half the night at the ER isn't a reason to call in, I don't know what is. Mostly, I was afraid I would just start crying at work.
I'm glad I stayed. I slept all day. It's been a long time since I've slept so much. I'm still tired.
H was getting really excited about the baby, too. He was having fun telling people. We were making plans. He was even picking out baby names. I couldn't believe how much he was looking forward to it...this was actually what I used to dream about, the past couple of years. H, who never wanted children before. Not only was it his idea to try to get pregnant, but he was so excited about it.
I only even knew I was pregnant for two weeks. Only six weeks along. That's not very far, but I'm small enough and skinny enough I could see where my stomach was starting to expand. Even just a little. It didn't even feel completely real that I was pregnant...now I have to absorb not only that, but that I lost the baby.
I know, intellectually, that this type of misscarriage is very common. And that it shouldn't impede me getting pregnant again and carrying to term. However, it doesn't actually stop me from worrying or being upset. H and I suspect that I had a misscarriage when I was still in college, before we got married. (10 days late. Never took used an HPT.)
I don't know. I'm feeling very alone right now. H is sweet...he's very upset too...but I mean alone in a different way. I don't know how to explain. Just that I know, even if it wasn't very far along, that the being that was growing inside of me is gone. It's a very empty, strange feeling. I'm not looking forward to telling the people who had known about the pregnancy that I lost it.
I'm so sorry Nevanna, but I am glad that you are aware that this is quite normal. A little advice, if I can give any, is that next time, wait a few months till you guys start telling everyone.
Okay, since clearly I am (unfortunately) not the only one... I haven't found a doctor I trust here yet, although I've been looking, so, since I trust all of you, I have a question...
It's been just over two weeks since the miscarriage. I was just under seven weeks. It appears to have been a complete M/C, no D&C needed, and the level of hcg is pretty much gone. (May actually be, last week it was really low, and just had the blood taken today.)
The thing is, I still feel exhausted. I slept for two days after I got home from the ER. I've had a ton of dizziness...so much that I had trouble driving the first week. It is getting better, but I still feel like I could fall asleep while typing this at work.
Did any of you have this?? Is this normal?? When should it be going away? I asked people at the hospital, I asked the GP I've seen, I asked the OB. The OB was the first to say that I "may experience some dizziness the first two weeks." I can't find anything useful on the internet, other than "emotional recovery will often take longer than physical recovery." (Yes, I know that...and I know how to deal with that...)
I'm so tired I can't think straight. I have been taking it easy. A couple of horribly failed attempts at light exercise have convinced me that that is not the right approach. The first time I thought I would pass out...and after only doing a couple of light reps on my first machine. I waited a week and half, went for a leisurely bike ride over the weekend, and thought I would pass out when I got home. Not fun.
Anyway...is this something I should be concerned about? I'm eating plenty, so it's nothing like that. Sleeping okay. Just dizzy and tired. It gets worse when they take blood. I've noticed I tend to feel better the more food I get in me. So...when I get up, I feel lousy, but as I eat/drink through the day, I feel better.
Incidentally Caverna, DH was the one going around telling everyone when I got pregnant. He was sooo excited. I actually wanted to hold off a bit, but he was having too much fun. I had pretty much only told people I would have told about the M/C anyway. Besides...I was enjoying his enthusiasm.
Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving....it was pretty quiet and low-key here.
Nevanna - Two thoughts - first - you can have some anemia from the blood loss of the miscarriage, and that can cause fatigue. It would be wise to take a multivitamin with iron, and an extra iron pill once a day, for the next month or so (don't keep taking iron beyond that unless your doctor says you need to).
Second - ask your doctor to check a blood test for thyroid disease. Low thyroid causes fatigue AND is a risk factor for miscarriage and infertility, so if you have an undiagnosed thyroid problem, it could be related to both things.
Thanks a bunch. I mentioned your advice to DH, but was too tired to do anything about it. A couple of days later, when I came for lunch, I basically passed out on the couch. He got pretty worried, and ran out to pick up some iron.
Anyway, I started taking that, and could actually tell a difference pretty quickly. I am feeling muuuuuch better now...not good, but better. I am still really tired, and I still have the shakes, but at least I can write this message without feeling like I'm going to pass out. That is a huge improvement. I can't recall ever feeling that lousy before. I can deel with being tired, but having my mind shut off just made me nuts!
I hate doctors. (No offense, Ellie.) I've been to four different ones since I moved here, and have yet to find one that I am okay with. Just a pet peeve of mine. Maybe I'm not clear enough, but it sure seems like they don't really listen to me. I had finally found one back in the midwest I really liked...but that's 2000 miles away now.
So, now I have another problem...and not sure how to wrangle it. The last few conversations with my mother have been very odd. I didn't tell them I had been pregnant when I was out there a couple of weeks ago--didn't want to worry them about the miscarriage. Anyway, lately my mom has been complaining about my dad.
A lot.
I think his retirement hasn't lived up to her expectations.
Anyway, she told me some things when I was out there for the weekend. And then, in her last email, she mentioned something else. I made the mistake of trying to give some (very light) advice. I should have just avoided the subject, but I'm tired of avoiding everything with my parents.
Anyway, she was really upset by it. My guess is she felt I wasn't being supportive. Okay, she said she "wouldn't confide" in me anymore, and basically refused to talk to me when I called her today. She was crying on the phone, and basically told me not to call her back.
I do not want to get involved in their relationship. They are my parents, and I feel it's inappropriate for me to be in that role. However, I also don't want my mom to just quit talking to me.
sigh
She reminds me a lot of H prebomb. She is sounding a bit WAWish, the bits and pieces I get. The selfish side of me wants to stick my nose in because I do not want them divorced. However, I know better...
Guess I'm just trying to figure out how to set appropriate boundaries in regards to what she tells me, as well as get her to talk to me again. I have a bad feeling this could become a big riff on her end if I don't handle it right.
I know she's depressed. Reminds me a lot of how H reacted to stuff when he was at the worst. While that does give me some clues on how to proceed, at the same time, it gives me the nastiest feeling because it reminds me of all the crap I went through.
Really, just rambling...trying to get my thoughts in order...
Everytime things are falling apart w/ H or I am about to do something stupid, I think, "what would Nevanna do?"
I know that when your H started approaching, you had moments of sadness, where you just started crying, even though things were looking good on your stitch.
This is what I am going through. H is being returned by the aliens little by little and, for some strange reason, I am having the worse crying spells (he doesn't see them). Why is that?
When are you do? 
Mostly, I was afraid I would just start crying at work. 
I couldn't believe how much he was looking forward to it...this was actually what I used to dream about, the past couple of years. H, who never wanted children before. Not only was it his idea to try to get pregnant, but he was so excited about it. 
