Wow! I didn't expect so many reponses!

Sage--I knew Jen had a baby, but I didn't know you were expecting, too. Congrats! I don't have an official date, but, according to the internet, should be sometime in early July. My first OB appointment is another week.

Caverna--I'm flattered. Hopefully there is something in there that can be helpful to you. I think a lot of things brought H home. We still had a good, underlying bond. Time. Patience. (Even though I wanted tear my hair out!) I better learned to fulfill his love languages. And I tried my best to make a welcoming environment so he would feel safe to come home. There's no one simple answer, but I feel those things played a big part.

Our second seperation--the one chronicled on the boards--lasted approximately three months. Obviously, there was and is still work to do.

Crimson, I am sorry you find yourself here, but it is a great place to learn. M/V is Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus, which I have found a great compliment to reading DR. (Divorce Rememdy). It has helped me a lot where DR left off. I also found The Five Love Languages to be an excellent book. Ok, I haven't actually gotten a copy of that, but I love the message of it. It's helped so much.

I do have a problem with taking things personally. That's been a huge thing for me to work on over time.

Of course your H needs to change--but you can't make him see or do anything. The only thing you can change is yourself. It's amazing how, once you learn how, you can change the steps in the dance--by altering what you do. If you change, your H will, too.

Wonka and Ellie--thanks for stopping in!!

This is all new for both myself and H, so should be intersting. lol It still hasn't totally sunk in to me.

Oh...some other things I have figured out that may help others... My H is incredibly sensitive. No news there. Well, after I told him about the positive HPT, he got grumpy and withdrawn. Very picky about how I wasn't cleaning or wasn't doing this or that and he has to do everything around the house. I admit...I am bad...but he hasn't brought this up for a long time.

I figured it was related to the HPT. At first, I thought he suddenly changed his mind. Then I thought maybe he just needed me to back off and let it sink in. So I backed off. Well, he got grumpier. So, after my appointment on Monday to confirm, I asked him (gently!) why he's been so grumpy. I got an irritable "I don't know!"

So I told him he seemed bothered or stressed, and I wanted to know if I could help. After a few minutes, he finally admitted that he was getting a mix of feelings he didn't expect. He's a bit scared; the reality of the pregnancy hit harder than he expected; and he thought I would be upset he wasn't more excited about the baby. I told him it was normal, and fine, and I'm a bit freaked out too. After some more talking and cuddling on the couch, he asked me to pamper him.

Problem solved. H's grumpy/irritation/complaining about the dishes was because of other concerns.

So...now he's getting more and more excited, and told me he's going to treat me to a surprise tonight. I think he's going to grill out and take us to a movie.

I've also figured out that giving him space is actually a bad thing in his case when he's grumpy. Usually he wants some nice attention--massage, cooking dinner, etc.
Leaving him alone actually makes things worse! Counter-intuitive, but a few months back, as I was backing off to give him the space I thought he needed, he finally burst out and wanted to know why I was ignoring and avoiding him. Sheesh.

In his case, his "guy time" or "cave time" usually amounts to him ignoring the world and playing on the computer or Xbox, or going hiking by himself. Now he just tells me if he'd like to have some time alone. Problem solved.

I don't stop by much...mostly trying to move on, but I didn't expect so many people to stop by! I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Take care.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]