Anyone else coping with pain of NO children?

[AussieGirl]

... and using the feelings of those young children as justification for not ending it with her

I reckon that is a big fat unreasonable excuse. He knows exactly how to hit your buttons - and that's what he's doing. He's pulling this thing about "poor me, I don't have any children so I have to have an affair with a women who has children" but that's so not what an affair is about. If he wanted to be with a women who could have children wouldn't he have left your marriage years ago? Or after this year when you finish treatment?

From what I've read of your situation, I honestly don't think that's the real reason he is having an affair - don't take on his guilt trip.

You are fabulous (and you are not old!!) and you are going to be OK!

It's funny isn't it the excuses they use? Some say they are having affairs because they are sick of having kids underfoot all the time - some say they are doing it because their partner doesn't like sex - some say it's because the OP does have children - the list goes on, but none of these are the real reason they are having an affair - they are having an affair because there is something deeply unhappy in them and they think they can "cure" it with romantic, fresh, "love". It will only be a short term fix.

My husband's first wife left him for an OP. She's still with the OP and they have a 12 year old daughter, but a few years ago she told me that leaving H was the most stupid thing she ever did - she said she thought a new relationship would fix all her problems, but then she realised she'd taken all the same problems into the new relationship and they weren't going away until she did something about herself. Very telling comments.