Just wanted to ask if anyone has any wise words for coping with the pain of having your H involved with OW with children - and using the feelings of those young children as justification for not ending it with her - when you have been unable to conceive? I think that pain has hurt the most from the beginning of this saga - I was never able to have children - we lost one - and I was on early fertility drugs this year, getting sick and changing my diet while he watched me do that and knew that he was planning to leave me. And it infuriates me that he's so STUPID not to see that OW is USING her children to manipulate him!!! He actually told me that he went to a school parent-teacher conference with OW because her child was exhibiting behavior problems after he started seeing them less (when he was supposedly ending it with her) - !!! GOD!!! And yet I feel so bad for him that he has such an unfulfilled need to be a father that it makes him vulnerable like that. And yet I am so pissed that he would turn outside our marriage for that after watching me go through sugery, go on medication, etc. in order for us to maybe have kids. And I'm OLD, and this would have been the last reasonable year for us to try to get pregnant - but HE'S a man and doesn't have that issue, and of course OW is younger.
I know I'm not supposed to obsess about OW but this a special kind of hurt, that makes me think sometimes that I SHOULD walk away so that he can have a chance at a family. And if he wasn't willing to adopt with me then I shouldn't want him in the first place.
Anyway - thanks for letting me get this out. As time has passed since the BOMB, I can feel myself getting stronger, but this is the only thing left that is a surefire trigger for me to sob.
