I know how you both must feel.The middle of last year, I found out that my H was making phone calls to a "friend" almost daily since 2001. I don't know if I did the right thing, but I confronted him. He says it was "nothing". They are just friends. Of course, I didn't believe him and I just couldn't deal with it, and we separated in January. (I threw him out). I did this because he wouldn't stop calling and she wouldn't either. I couldn't deal with being treated this way. I wasn't snooping everything just sort of "came out in the wash". It was funny it was as if the number just popped out a cell phone bill file folder when I was paying bills. His behavior and words gave him away as well. I sensed he continued to make calls to her, and my last resort was to separate from him. I was so angry at that time that I didn't care if I ever saw him again. I don't think I can ever believe anything that he says. There were so many signs in the past, but I couldn't quite get it. Sometimes I just wonder if even putting any effort at all is worth saving this marriage? I called her and confronted her as well. Now he says she is mad at him because she is afraid I will tell her Husband. What is she so afraid of if they are just "friends"! I probably have reacted in all the wrong ways but I was mad as hell. I'm willing to learn to be cheerful, patient, take care of myself etc., etc. etc. It just seems I've been that way for much too long. I'm tired of being the nice one.