I know when I am feeling really confused and ambivalent, it's time for me to pull back a little from working on the marriage and trying to improve it, and take a break.
Do something for yourself, or have some fun with W with no relationship talk. I was just sitting outside with H and I had to fight the urge to bring up some stuff and just enjoy the moment.
I also know that when I feel drained and back off, I start to notice small ways in which my H is coming through for me, which means a lot and gives me energy to move forward. I don't mind doing most of the work but it can't be completely one-sided, not at this point.
In a thread not too long ago someone here was discussing the concept "what does success look like." I don't know if we came to any conclusions, but it helps to think about the progress you have made. You have made some positive steps, and there isn't any clear end point...the journey keeps continuing. Figure out what's missing and try to come up with specific goals...after you take that break.
