I have definitely discussed this with my H, but I still don't quite get it. I thought it might just be performance anxiety but it seems as though he needs it more to get his head in the right state rather than his cock. On several occasions I've suggested that rather than looking at the porn, I would certainly be willing to offer him whatever specific visual, auditory or manual stimulation he might need to get going. On one occasion he did allow me to manually arouse him even though he wasn't in the mood, but even with a hard-on he said that he wasn't mentally aroused though I did manage to convince him otherwise. I am convinced that my H's problem is that he just has very little spontaneous sexual ideation. I was thinking the other day that maybe some LD men are really kind of like young boys in some physiological or psychological sense. I mean little 2 year old boys will get erections that they enjoy playing with but they have no real sex drive.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
