Lillie, in what way did this help you? Just curious.
Jen and HP, thanks for the further categorization! I would say I was thinking of 1a and 1c as belonging to to the #1 category. Actually, when I said I get ‘horny’ once a month, it’s the biological (ovulatory) horniness. I do like it a lot more than that, and I would say that’s a combination of 1c and 2.
And in case I haven’t sufficiently confused everyone, let me continue, heh heh. I would classify 1b and 1d into the #3 category. This is why I said that #3 can be justified as a good reason, but it depends on the relationship. If I’m feeling stressed, I feel its not fair to expect H to de-stress me every time (atleast not with sex), because he has his own stresses to cope with too. Sure, sex is an excellent de-stressor, but not if my partner is stretching himself to meet me halfway in the first place, kwim? In this situation, I try to work through it myself and self-soothe. If I still want his help, I ask him to spend some time with me, talk or rub my back, and he is usually very amenable.
I would classify 1b and 1d into the #3 category. This is why I said that #3 can be justified as a good reason, but it depends on the relationship. If I’m feeling stressed, I feel its not fair to expect H to de-stress me every time (atleast not with sex), because he has his own stresses to cope with too. Sure, sex is an excellent de-stressor, but not if my partner is stretching himself to meet me halfway in the first place, kwim? In this situation, I try to work through it myself and self-soothe. If I still want his help, I ask him to spend some time with me, talk or rub my back, and he is usually very amenable.
