I agree with Aussie Girl. If you are truly sorry and this A happened two years ago, you have admitted an EA, I would let it go. As my H and our M continues to improve, the need to know the truth is going away. The difference with me is I told my H that whether he admits it or not that I believe it to be true. Since I believe it to be true and still have made the choice to forgive him, then him telling me later on would only be confirmation. I feel that my H is afraid that I would use this against him if it ever came to a D. I know that my H is sorry. I also know that there is a great deal of shame that came with his A. One conversation with H last year was about what is father would say to him if he knew. My FIL would take my side for sure. There's plenty that I did to push my H away even though it does not really excuse his actions. I do know that he felt pretty bad about our M and he admitted to me last year that I hurt him by threatening D. When I vowed to repair our M, I also forgave H. I'm not sure that in your case that admitting the PA after all this time would be a good thing. It would only make things worse, hurt your W more, and make her have to go through this all over again. Trust would be completely gone. I say keep the secret.
