Well, it's been two months since I posted anything, I think. I have been following DMF and NYSURVIVOR. Sorry about the Dodgers (HAR, HAR, HAR!), although the way the Padres are going, who knows. NY, I am sorry for the finalized D; it seems you are moving on. You know I don't believe there is any future in your pursuing your WAS, so why should I press the point.
I went to my 40th (!?) HS reunion last week in MI. Some classmates were easy to recognize, and some were not, which I understand is common at reunions. I sat at table with a blonde goddess from our HS class whom I had fantasized about in HS but never had the nerve to approach (I never had the nerve in HS to approach anyone). I thought I noticed her looking at me with curiosity (?), interest (?), but was there with my WS and wasn't really interested at the time so didn't think anything about that. My WS and I had a nice time there; the town is a nice resort place in Northern MI. Now I am in the office fantasizing about the blonde; I even googled her and found a picture which I saved to my MY PICTURES. Before the bomb dropped, I wouldn't have thought about this, but it seems that my WS's infidelity has somehow, to me, legitimized by fantasizing about other women. My reconnecting with my WS is going very well; we are seeing an MC whom we both like and he says we are making progress. I still have the doubts about my WS's fidelity; after all, I had thought we had no secrets before the bomb dropped. I am still going forward on faith. I think I will just see where this fantasizing goes. If it doesn't go away after a few weeks, in the interest of rebuilding trust, I guess I will bring it up in counseling. Anyway, I am just thinking aloud here. I am not expecting any response from the board, but I need to clear my mind.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
