This posting has opinions from all sides; some say yes, most say most of us enter into marriage with unreasonable expectations (the mate is going to solve all our problems, our mate is going to have ESP and know just what to say and do to please us, etc.).
That was my situation; when we were first married I didn't think it was necessary to begin or continue working on communication if my W was not sharing things with me. After her affair, we are working on repairing trust and communication through some structures that our MC has provided, from the Hendrix book "Getting the Love you Want." Also (and this may or may not be true for anyone, in my case it is true) several posters experience that the WS will display and feel more guilt and remorse for her/himself than you could possibly imagine on your own. At first, that is what happened with us. My WS was almost as devastated as I was. She cried with me, said she was sorry she hurt me, said she still thought we had a good marriage and wanted to work to rebuild.
This particular post does not contain any of the expressions (M***F***ing Whore Skank Slut Homewrecking Trash) that some people think fill all of the posts at the SI site. In any case, I think the post has some good points and think others would find it useful (it's a little dated - April 28).
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
