Just Beginning

[TSinAtlanta]

TS, "WAS" is a generic term. Perhaps your W was a near walk away

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So, the terminology here is the one who had an affair is a WAS and the one who is betrayed is BS (!). Because, see, my wife, our living situation does not anywhere near match what is in the article "The Walk Away Wife."

In the early years of marriage, women are the relationship caretakers. They carefully monitor their relationships to make sure there is enough closeness and connection. If not, women will do what they can to try to fix things. If their husbands aren't responsive, women become extremely unhappy and start complaining about everything under the sun... things that need to get done around the house, responsibilities pertaining to the children, how free time is spent and so on. Unfortunately, when women complain, men generally retreat and the marriage deteriorates even more.

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This is the stereotype; that women are the caregivers and men are stiff, distant, uncaring, silent. Possibly this was true at one time for most marriages. That is nothing like our relationship. I have many times in the past, before DDay, asked her if anything was bothering her, how could I help her by listening to her problems and fears. If anything, I felt she was keeping problems from me, and she has said she did because she didn't want to bother me. Unfortunately, she also kept from me the fact that her old flame had called to rekindle and she allowed that to happen. And this went on for 12 years. Before DDay, she never once mentioned the lack of attention as an issue. We certainly never had confrontations or fights about it. I think it is a stretch to say that, if a man is reading the newspaper and the women says, "You are not listening to me,", that the man is stiff, silent, uncommunicative. As I recall, what I was not listening to was remarks about her family, friends, "Beverly is thinking about retiring; the party is next Saturday, etc., etc.. ."

However, I will bring up the attention request from WAS during our MC session tomorrow; I was planning to ask him about it anyway.

So, in other words, you don't take in the Met. The season is over, is it not? They used to come here to Atlanta, around this time, but I don't know if they tour anymore in the summer.

Peace, brother,