NYSurvivor,

Thanks much for the reply. Everyone's experience is different, I guess. Here is a quote from one of the responses I got from SI:

"The physiological shock of all this pain kind of reverberates and throbs over time before it lessens. The intensity and frequency subside slowly--AND IT IS INDEPENDENT OF ALL YOUR POSITIVE THINKING, SPIRITUAL INSIGHTS, AND BEST INTENTIONS. "

I take from that that this is a hurtful, hateful, devastating experience. I am beginning to see that the memories and obsessions will not go away any time soon. I don't see in the above any hate, anger, negativity; maybe a little brutal honesty, which I am beginning to appreciate. The gist of the advice I have been getting is that my "WS" made a choice on her own to betray me, and I still must work out in my mind (and heart) if I can trust again. And that this will be a long, gradual, frustrating process.

We are in MC and my "WS" seems committed to the process. She has also said that she is sorry for the hurt and pain she caused me, and that she does not want any contact with the "OM", althought she still has feelings for him and thinks of him occasionally.

But some feedback is better than no feedback at all.

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.