Thanks for the reply. We have a pretty good church, so when the thoughts come up, I repeat the Lord's Prayer over and over and concentrate on sitting in the choir in church (both W and I sing in the choir together). Books that have been recommended by our therapist and pastors are Glass "Not 'Just Friends'" and Singer "After the Affair". Our therapist recommended my W and I read it alternately and then discuss. It is funny how I am still interacting on one level almost normally with someone who lied to me and engaged in physical sex with someone else and tried to hide it. We are going forward and I have to take her promise on faith that she wants to save our marriage and is truly sorry. I am assuming from what I am reading and what I am hearing from our therapist that the healing is going to take quite a bit of time and that flashbacks and obsessions will be with me for quite a while. Our pastor says take it a day at a time and when that doesn't work, an hour at a time. Peace.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
