My H is back after a separation of nearly 4 months. He was having an affair with a co-worker and eventually admitted it to me. He has been back home for 3 weeks and just returned to work last week. I am trying to trust him and he has been trying really hard. He goes to church with the family now and spends all of his time with me and our child. The only issue I have now is maintaining my happiness and trust when he is at work. He works the graveyard shift and assures me that everything is over and deep down, I do believe him. We had a bad marriage prior to this affair and while I don't excuse it, I understand. Now, I just want to be with him and make our relationship work. We are happier than we have ever been, however, I find myself bringing things back up. I am learning to hold my tongue but sometimes don't resist the urge to question him. We had a wonderful weekend and I ruined it by questioning him this morning. He said that he understands my frustration, however, he is frustrated too because just when things are going good - I bring everything up again.

Please help me with coping with this. My marriage is on it's way to a place that it has never been. My husband calls/pages me all day with little notes professing his love and is being everything I could ever want. He told me that he now brags to everyone about how wonderful I am and he loves it. I don't want to ruin that.

Any advice?

I must also add that just a week ago, my husband and I had a long talk. He explained that he no longer felt the same way that he used to feel but he wanted to badly. He said that he does love me and wants to get the "fire" back so that we can both share the deep feelings that I now have for him. Last Friday, we had another talk and we both really laid everything on the table. He expressed his feelings to me about how the A started and how the OW was definitely out of the picture and no longer an issue.

I want to believe him and work on my marriage but why do I keep looking for things that are only going to hurt me and our ability to progress. I am so desperate for guidance on this. I am scared that this morning may have been the last straw for him even though he said that he is not mad at me for questioning him. How do I reassure him that I will not bring these things up if I keep doing it. Each time I go a week and then when it's time for him to go to work, I start again. I am telling myself to try and make it 2 weeks without looking for anything or asking any questions. I am hoping that 2 weeks will turn into 3 and so on and so forth...

I have not bought any of the DB books yet but plan to do so this weekend. In the meantime, I am looking for guidance so that fear does not consume my marriage and cause it to end.

What's worse is that when I return home from work tonight, he will be on his way out. While I am sure that he no longer wants to talk about this situation, I don't even have the convenience of spending time with him to show that I let it go. Our schedules will conflict so the next time we are home together will not be until Wednesday. I feel like he'll wake up and concentrate on my questioning and remind himself that I haven't really changed.

I am so tired of this situation - I just want to know how to rebuild this marriage and maintain faith in my husband wanting the same thing.