You should know that when H first dropped the bomb, he was fully convinced that I would take him up on his offer of all the equity of the house and then I would just clear off with D to the other country where my family are (only my mother and sister, and my mother is now no more), and I would send D out to him a couple of times a year. He seemed quite happy with that.
Let's see, it would look like *I* had run away, he didn't have me inconveniently hanging around and embarassing him with my presence, he would have free play with OW1, he would get to spend all his income on himself and he could live like a batchelor all over again here!
He kept telling me he didn't know what I was thinking... (Duh! Up until that point I actually thought I had a marriage, and now I was supposed to be making all these quick decisions to up sticks and just move on!) He kept saying that he thought I would be moving to the other country. I think he was a bit disappointed that I didn't.
He hit the ROOF when I first mentioned that I would be consulting a lawyer. I was a complete B*TCH for that!
I pointed out to him that with his plan, he would be seeing more of OW1's son than his own daughter, and I asked him how he would feel about that. Know what he replied? That OW1's son was a "great kid". He just didn't get it, did he?
Know what Ellie? My father walked out on my mother when I was seven, and I haven't seen or heard from him since. He kept away so as to hang on to the (considerable) money he had just inherited from his parents. He didn't wish to bother even divorcing my mother, as he would then be held liable for child support and alimony etc. He just hopped the country.
I used to yearn to have a Dad like everyone else. But now that I know the truth about the kind of man he was (nasty nasty nasty) I can see that the best thing he ever did was to walk out of my life. Sad, but true.
See, in my fantasy, my Dad would have been a great Dad, but the reality would have been a nightmare.
I don't equate my father with my H, I think my father was far worse, but isn't it interesting how history seems to be repeating itself?
Livnlearn, still thinking, thinking, thinking.....
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
