Alone

[Livnlearn]

Ellie

You are right, I am aware that merely imitating his PA behaviour is not healthy for me.

But here are my problems with his "request" -

Firstly, he didn't just request me to get the stuff *if* I was going into town. He cleverly asked me if I was going into town first. Then when I asked him what the favour was before saying I would see, he got annoyed. Ultimately, this is NOT a request, it is a command. It sure feels like one. I know my husband well. He also ropes D into pressuring me to comply. He is one sneaky B.

And what am I getting from this "friendship"?

When I emailed him before Easter with an invitation to spend a couple of days here before going up with D (D, unprompted, asked us to spend time together, have the Easter Egg hunt together etc) he grandly and completely ignored my email. Didn't even bother to say, no thank you.

And when it came to the actual handover and he managed to get our friend to give him and D a lift up to his front door, he was not going to mention that OW2 was at his place, and I would have unknowingly bumped into her and had to be polite or seem like a churl in front of other people. It just so happens I knew she was there before I stumbled into the situation and was able to avoid it.

This just does NOT feel like a friendship to me at all at all. It feels like someone assuming I will be there to jump to the royal command for ever. He tells me about my feeling of entitlement, but his is right there for all to see, he is "supporting" me and D, so I need to jump for him. In a row before the bomb he actually stated as much - he was "paying for everything, so I got to do his bidding"! This from the guy who likes to pay lip service to feminism. Ha bl**dy ha.

I do resent the fact that this guy manages to blow hot and cold and when he is playing the innocent friend with me and I am not biting, the ugly bully in him breaks out from just below the surface.

When I talk about my resentment, it is not something I stew in but I do wish he would just LEAVE ME ALONE!

Perhaps I need to make this crystal clear to him sometime soon. Our friendship is over, we are just co-parents, and I am keen to have a civil and friendly relationship as co-parents only.

Livnlearn