You are right on about Narcissists and how they pick their partners. I have read a great on the subject, and it is very common for them to pick someone who forgives very easily and tends to put up with their shenagens (I have been at fault about putting up with this also). When they hit rock bottom, they tend to resurface and sometimes beg for another chance...but they are only looking after their best interest in R's. Once the newness of getting back subsides, they tend to repeat the same narcissistic patterns, leaving the LBS heartbroken and devasted again. It really is quite a vicous cycle...my ex-bf has been going through this literally for many years, each time thinking he was at fault for problems in the M and hanging on to a fantasy of what could have been. In truly narcissistic people though, they really cannot be normal and giving. They only give when it benefits their own goal, and the act can be quite encouraging to the person who wants the R to work so badly. But when this happens over and over again, many times the LBS knows what the end result will be again and hopefully moves on to a better life. Nobody deserves this kind of treatment, but it does happen all the time. My ex's ex-w came back after divorce and was so desperate for him to return to her and he did. But 2 years later, she did the exact same things she did for so many years before...seeing other people, kicking him out every few weeks, on and on. I think in the worst cases, the LBS really needs to get professional help to understand this is not about them, but they do need to help find out why they feel the need to return under the worst case circumstances. Only then can the LBS return to a normal life, and hopefully one day find someone who appreciates them and loves them for who they are.
