Ok Liv

There were other things I wanted to say in my last post but i didn't. But anyway I'll have a go.

Yes these people with problems do pick a certain sort of person to marry. They have to because no one else would put up with their cr*p. We tend to be patient people. We tend to be people who stay calm. We're caring and will also analyse what has happened and try to make excuses for others. I'd say we tend to see the good in people. Also I think we get along with most people and tend not to fall out. We're also honest people and judge by our standards. Hence, we believe that we wouldn't do that to someone, so they wouldn't do it to us. Friends of mine have occassionally described me as naive......thank goodness they accept me warts and all . And yes you're right our h's know this and so they wear us down. They know that if at first they don't succeed they will try try and try again. Thats why we have to be consistent with them. What they will do is vacuum people up into their situation. Hence your h's phone calls to you when he has a problem or something he wants to talk about. As he knows no one else will be vacuumed up, he returns to the person he knows will respond....and that's you Liv. Now, it's up to you whether you want to fulfil that role in his life anymore.

Liv you do deserve a medal. I know how you must feel about yourself. But most people would have done a runner on your h, but you're still there putting your d and him before yourself. That in my opinion is commendable. Many people would say that it's ok to cut and run which it is of course. We do what we do and than live by it don't we?

You do have obvious potential your friends are right. I doubt that it is completely untapped. Many people underestimate the challenge motherhood presents to us and you are doing an excellent job in that area. Also you are running your own business...this again utilises a lot of potential.....many people couldn't do that either.

As for the divorce? That's just a piece of paper really isn't it? If you have to wait three years where you are now so be it. Alternative you could move away. I think moving away is a bit extreme just for that piece of paper. But again that's your choice isn't it? If you want to move ok fine move. But move because you want to not for any other reason.

Whatever you decide, with anything thats going through your mind, think carefully first, decide, plan practice and then do it! Don't change your mind. Don't be pursuaded. Stick to what you have decided.

Yes initially it will be difficult. Your h will be angry at you. He will play all the games that he has played with you for years. And he will try and press those buttons that he knows are there to get you going. You must not waver Liv.....you must stick with it.