I went to bed at ten and woke up at half past midnight in pain. The pain seems to be shifting towards my ear now. Still can't see much actual swelling , but it sure hurts! Took a couple of pain killers and am here to distract myself until the effect kicks in...

Before going to bed I rang my students and cancelled tomorrow's lessons, and after taking D to school I plan to visit my doctor. Finally!

Thanks for your visit SD . I was reading that if you tell narcissists what your weak points are, instead of going easy on you, they actually use them to gain leverage. This seems to be the case here too, as far as I can see. So perhaps instead of telling him honestly what I would really like (even if it is in HIS own interests, like him having first choice of dates and then telling me) I have to be cleverer and play him so as to make it seems he is winnng something. This is the general advice on how to deal with a narcissist, apparently. I can see how this could work. In their bizarre world, inviting them to 'commit' to first choice is PRESSURE!! We must be endlessly at their disposal and change our plans at their whim...

Code:
 How about (in email): "As I said, I'm happy to work
 around your schedule. I'll be making my reservations on
 May 1st (or whatever). Please email me your preference
 before then, or I'll assume you have none."


The thing about our SA and his visitation rights is, I can't actually force him to take his visitaion, as it were. He can play the "I don't know what my plans are" at any stage of the game and I, at best, have to assume that D is coming with me, unless he says he will take her. This makes it expensive, if I always have to take D where I go, and I can't do all the things I might want to, workwise. I have to think about this carefully, and work out the approach that will function best with my H. I'm sure I'll get there in the end! A continual challenge!

The effect of the painkillers has kicked in, thank goodness. Maybe I can get some sleep?

Goodnight

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates