LNL - Just want to post this to others who are reading:
LNL has thought long and hard about her H. She has looked carefully at who he was BEFORE the affairs started. She's a smart lady and I believe she has given this assessment of her H careful thought.
BUT WARNING! It is all too easy to diagnose a WAS as having a personality disorder, like NPD or borderline personality disorder. Something about the alien infestation makes them closely resemble these states while they are going through whatever it is they go through. But most of them did NOT show these traits before, and will not show them after they recover. I've seen first hand, in both my H and my D14, how clinical depression can take the most caring individual and turn them into a completely self-involved, empathy-less being - and how successful treatment can turn them back into the caring person they were before.
So - just be careful out there - if you want to attempt to characterize your spouse, do so based on who they were LONG BEFORE the current crisis. (BTW - I believe LNL has done that).
