I really lost it yesterday evening and felt full of despair. Then I overslept this morning by setting my alarm to 6pm instead of 6am, so I got an extra two hours of (proably much needed) sleep as a bonus!
D had fifteen minutes in which to get ready for school and have breakfast, and miracle of miracles, she actually pulled out the stops and did so! One of her PA type behaviours is to move extra slowly when I ask her to hurry up for some reason. I swear, she would slow her heartbeat if she could, just to resist my exhortations to hurry up!
I think the key to managing one's kids is to not lose control of one's temper, either by raising one's voice or getting phsyical. I don't remember my mother shouting at me, nor needing to shout at me, much less spank me. But I was a very different child too, very accomodating and eager to please, not challenging like my D. Sometimes just thinking that *I* would never have done what D is doing gets a rise out of me, unnecessarily. What's the point? I am myself, and D is D!
But I do think it is important for kids to realise that the bottom line is that parents do have authority over them and that sometimes simple obedience is required, period. It is not feasible to debate EVERY instruction from a parent!
I also rang my friend last evening, and she did listen to me. She said she had problems with her son too (he is sixteen and a half) and basically I just vented a bit and felt better afterwards. She hails from the same country of origin as I do so she does understand where my anger and bewilderment are coming from.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
