Mellanie, Thank you. I need to be reminded of the GOOD in my life, and there is a lot of it. You know, I was going to come over to your thread today and tell you (I was thinking of this yesterday but too self absorbed to write it out) that it might be a good idea to gently and kindly set some boundaries for your H. Coming to YOUR home, hanging out with YOU and then talking about and/or calling the OW is ludicrous. You don't have to be a shrew and I'm sure there is a way to word it that makes you look like the more attractive alternative (cause no doubt she's using her anger to control him) but the days of him treating you like a buddy have to be GONE. If he wants to be your lover and your husband, then by all means come around.
JJ, Your posts always crack me up because it is a bit like watching some crazy TV program with folks who are too strange to be for real. Except yours are real! LOL The cross country biking fitness freak FIL married to a baker..now I've heard it all. lol I don't know about redigesting sperm but I do feel that 99.9% of MrHP's sex drive is in his head. Kinda like a woman's sex drive, I guess. We don't have loads of testosterone floating around, so the urges we feel are going to be generated from a different source. HOW he can ignore the T floating around, I do not know. But he does. So here we find ourselves in a state of semi-abstinence and there is no reason for him to be thinking sexually, so he acts more and more like a roommate and less like a husband. Once his brain starts thinking Sex again, he acts like a semi-normal guy.
Well, last night was fine. He is really good at de-fusing me, I must say. He uses a special blend of humor, reassurance, love, harshness, and talking until things are calmer. I think I needed to hear him say that he DOES know what a strong physical urge feels like and he does NOT feel that about sex. For so long, he has argued with me that he does feel that way and it has made me feel invalidated. I would try to explain how I felt and he'd chime in, Yeah I feel that too!
True to form, though, he is making this all about sweets. He now wants to give up sweets! I told him, H you do whatever you think is prudent in that area, this was NOT about you binging on sweets, for me. I was just trying to illustrate what it is, specifically, that I feel as desire--the same thing you feel for sweets.
So that was that.
Thank you all for the kind words and the HoneyTrain is officially back on the tracks.
HP
P.S. To Cemar: Well nanny nanny boo boo, right back atcha!
