Des, I missed the references to the song and to buffy and spike. But Heathcliff and Cathy, now that is something I can relate to!
NOP, that had me LOL and that is a feat right now. Gotta snap out of this. He is irritated that he came home and I'm down in the dumps. GGB, I tried explaining it to him but he's not in the mood to hear it. I think I've beat him about the head with it for too many days in a row, like Mel said. I need to let up and let it be.
I think that this revelation has been a long time coming. For some reason, I need him to look me in the eye and say that he doesn't desire me all that much. What he has historically done is argue with me, instead of validating what I ultimately know to be true, anyway.
Here is the biggest piece of "oh you gotta be kiddin me" info: In my head, I have this idea that having a man to desire me is my...birthright or something! It is not a gift, it is my RIGHT. I know this is screwed up thinking, but I've thought this way so long (do all women?) that it will take time to ditch it.
Uglypot (having a big time pity party today)
P.S. Mel that surgery can't come soon enough, can it. I'm going from a reasonable woman to a raving lunatic.
