I can only imagine how you are feeling. You have this surgery looming, you are uncomfortable and the nicest thing you could imagine is getting a little bit of lovin from your H. Yet, your H not only ignores this need but even when he acknowledges it he does so in a half-@ssed way and doesn't carry through. Damn it anyway!
I do feel how crappy that must be for you. I do know that your H has really been trying and I have to give him points there. Are there some things that you can ask for between now and the surgery that are specific and would help you get the physical closeness and the feeling of being wanted that you desire? [Let me just say that as I say this I realize that when I bring these things up to my H even when I am very specific I usually get the offers of QT that you described before - How can anyone convert "I want you to feel me up and french kiss me in the kitchen" and "Bend me over the bathroom sink on some unspecified weekday evening" into "Ok, I hear what you are saying. You are feeling unloved. Let's have dinner alone on Saturday"? Confuses the H*ll out of me.]
I think you had it when you said that it is a communication thing. He responded appropriately to your email so he did GET your communication. He just didn't follow up or carry it forward. Hence, time for you to communicate that it wasn't hypothetical you really did mean the communication to result in action. My H does the same thing BTW - he will send a flirty email or card but ACTION does not necessarily follow - usually, does not follow.
