I was going to say pretty much the same thing- 16 years of Catholic education here and not a word about spilling the seed. I think I was taught more about just not getting caught. (sorry, all that Catholic School Girl stuff coming out). Ooops, I was going to offer too much info there.
You know what, I think I'm an HD that's just been trying to be a good little LD for too darn long. It's bubbling to the surface. What a shame. All this pent up longing and no one to share it with. It's like I have an LD spouse, but he just doesn't live here any more. Sad, I know. But at least I'm not just lurking anymore.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Just as random information, I was curious so went hunting, and so far this is what I can find from the Vatican on the limits of sexual practices (stress mine):
Quote: 9. This love is above all fully human, a compound of sense and spirit. [...] It is a love which is total—that very special form of personal friendship in which husband and wife generously share everything, allowing no unreasonable exceptions and not thinking solely of their own convenience. [...] Married love is also faithful and exclusive of all other, and this until death. [...] Finally, this love is fecund. It is not confined wholly to the loving interchange of husband and wife; it also contrives to go beyond this to bring new life into being.
12. [...] And if each of these essential qualities, the unitive and the procreative, is preserved, the use of marriage fully retains its sense of true mutual love and its ordination to the supreme responsibility of parenthood to which man is called.
13. Men rightly observe that a conjugal act imposed on one's partner without regard to his or her condition or personal and reasonable wishes in the matter, is no true act of love, and therefore offends the moral order in its particular application to the intimate relationship of husband and wife. If they further reflect, they must also recognize that an act of mutual love which impairs the capacity to transmit life which God the Creator, through specific laws, has built into it, frustrates His design which constitutes the norm of marriage, and contradicts the will of the Author of life. Hence to use this divine gift while depriving it, even if only partially, of its meaning and purpose, is equally repugnant to the nature of man and of woman, and is consequently in opposition to the plan of God and His holy will.
So basically, following that, any sexual activity which does not give the potential to be fecund is against the purpose of sex and therefore against the will of God. Makes sense, from the basic precepts.
But wow... this, from the Code of Canon Law, really shocked me:
Quote: Can. 1084 §1. Antecedent and perpetual impotence to have intercourse, whether on the part of the man or the woman, whether absolute or relative, nullifies marriage by its very nature. [...] §3. Sterility neither prohibits nor nullifies marriage, without prejudice to the prescript of ⇒ can. 1098.
(Included to avoid confusion:)
Can. 1098 A person contracts invalidly who enters into a marriage deceived by malice, perpetrated to obtain consent, concerning some quality of the other partner which by its very nature can gravely disturb the partnership of conjugal life.
(There ya go, CeMar. If your wife deceived you intentionally as to her level of sexual desire, your marriage is invalid if you're Catholic.)
So if you're impotent, but not sterile, then you can't be married in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Unless I'm misreading that?
I am turning in revolution
these are the scars that silence carved
on me
Quote: Why would I want to get to a point where I'm fine with the thought of never making love to anyone ever again for the rest of my life?
For the same reason that someone who was a gourmet cook and a "foodie" might still like to think of himself as someone who could survive if his plane crashed in the woods and he had to live on roots, berries and the occasional squirrel. You don't want your plane to crash but you won't fear it as much as someone who truly believes they can't make it in a world without squid ink pasta, caviar and Belgium chocolate.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Not trying to be arrogant here, but I don't understand why a God that is supposed to be all knowing and giving and loving would want a couple to have 10 children and drive them into the poor house, or why God would allow such a thing as his own representatives in the church to sexually abuse children, or have sex with women who are members of the church, then they church transfers the priest when they become pregnant. It has happened quite often. If the idea is to abstain during the fertile periods, then a H having sex during that time is not going against everything they were taught? I do understand we are human and will make mistakes, and that we pray to God for forgiveness of these mistakes. I just have a hard time dealing with abuse to children.
I mean no disrespect towards you or anyone else on this board, like I said, I believe in God, I pray and yes, its very unfortunate that the behavior of people drove me from the church. You and HP answered my question very nicely, thank you. I wish everyone on here the best, whatever their religion.
I have to admit that I am a baby fiend so I got my tubes tied to keep myself from ending up with a house full of sullen teenagers and 8 year olds telling me the same knock-knock joke for the 10th time and 4 year olds yelling for me to come in the bathroom to help them wipe their butt etc. just because I yearn for the cuddly cuteness of a 10 month old. Besides, I was afraid if I had more than 2 kids I might end up losing one at the park or the grocery store because I am so absentminded.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I understand LOL. You guys always come up with such witty sayings. I, myself, had my tubes tied after having 2 miscarriages following the birth of my one son. I have never regretted that decision.
Ahh, annette, that is the free will side of the equation. God gave us free will. It is up to us to choose to love him and follow him.
As far as the abstention during fertile periods go, the Church says something to the effect that there has to be a just reason for avoiding the fertile times, such as spacing your children or maintaining proper stewardship of your finances.
GGB, still learning and struggling with all this too.
