I read your situation and it just sounds like you are the HD guy and he is the LD women. It is just so backwards. I bet there are lots of LD women that would LOVE your husband. Its like he has read all the relationship books and follows the advice that us HD men are given, to ignore the sex and appeal to all those wonderful LD needs. You need to slap him around an tell him you are NOT a LD women. First, you must communicate what it is you need clearly to him many times (as you have said). But somwhere down the road, he has to learn to fly on his own. There is just no way that us HD's can be a never ending supply of "desire" for both parties to the marriage. I guess what I am saying is that expectations are wrong, initially in this process, but eventually, we must accept them. Eventually, the LD must learn to fly on their own. Eventually , THEY must decide to change, and they must do it on their own. Their is only so much guidance us HD's can give. If you tell someone 20 times how to do something, and they still don't do it right, it would seem that they don't care to learn.
As for the sex, there are a lot of ways to have sex that are not vaginal. Heck, I have given my wife orgasams without even touching her there. He has lots of options to entertain you, neither of you should give him a pass for you physical condition right now.
