I can't believe I'm finally going to say this...but my LDH is finally breaking through his sexual shell!!!
He's beginning to talk about sex in a way he hasn't done before (with interest), he's beginning to do things in a sexual manner too. Last night he was taking a soak in the tub and asked me to come in and sit with him to talk. Normally, when he takes a soak he likes privacy (keeps doors closed etc)...not this time, he wanted me to spend some time with him. He even brought up the idea of shaving himself (sorry if that's TMI for some of you) and made a distinct point to let me know he'd never done that before....so he was basically trying to find out if I would like that...I told him I would, very much and if he was up for it...I'd be happy to do it for him.
We talked about soooo many things...the conversation went back and forth between normal everyday things...to sex, to friends, to sex, to whatever and back to sex. For once I sat back and didn't guide the conversation either...I let him do it, so any time sex was brought up, he did it! YEAH!!!
We even talked about what he likes me to wear...which was informative for me of course, considering I've asked several times in the past but he never would tell me...I'm sure because he thought he'd hurt my feelings because he knows I want to lose some lbs and I'm a bit sensitive about it; but I'm the type of woman that if I ask him a question like that...I'm not going to get huffy if he gives me his honest opinion. Anyway...he told me his preferences on lingere etc, so we made a deal. When I get down to what I call my "fighting weight" LOL (and I am committed to doing this)...he's going to take me shopping and HE can pick out what he likes for me to wear.
To top the evening off...he actually came to bed in the nude too This is a man who seems to be sooo attached to his tightie-whities it's not even funny...who goes out of his way to avoid being seen naked. I was getting definite signals he wanted some action of some type...unfortunately it's that time of the month for me...BUT that won't stop me...he did get a very nice sensual massage and BJ ;-)
I keep posting these updates because I want those of you who are just beginning this process to see that you can make it through, things can get better...don't give up!!
It's taken us a good year to get to this point finally. It's taken learning to communicate with each other and learning what each others needs are (and meeting them)...and it seems that since the real progress began happening about 2 months ago that it has started to pick up speed steadily.
I firmly believe now that this time next year I will be able to confidently post a success story in full, I can not wait for that day! I have to give my H quite a bit of credit though...he's been doing some hard work, why? Because he LOVES me!!!
GEL, Talk him out of shaving!!!!!! It turns into a prickly pear down there! It will put a whole new meaning to "attached to the tighty whities." IMPE If you want him to, enjoy it, as I am sure he won't want to do it twice!!!
That's fantastic! You deserve all the success you've achieved. If all the HDW on this BB were in a beauty contest, you'd definitely win for Miss Congeniality or Good Attitude, or you know what I mean with this lame analogy.
BTW, I recommend the stretchy tanktop with built-in bra as a lingerie choice for those of us who fight in the higher weight divisions. Lycra is queen.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
I'm trying very hard not to expect too much, or to get my hopes up too high that this is going to last because it's a long fall down if this isn't permanent.
Don't get me wrong now, I am hopeful..with reason. Things are so much different now than in the past when he'd make "attempts" to appease me. This truly has a different "feel" to it. I really feel that I'm getting to see the real him for once, not someone who is guarded at all times.
He is truly making some changes, getting comfortable with me...getting comfortable with himself too. The things we can talk about now are limitless...because nothing is out of bounds now. He initiated a very interesting conversation this past weekend about religion, he's Methodist...I personally sit the fence on religion. The great thing is we can talk about it and hear each other's views without judging or becoming defensive about it. We both know we each have a right to our own views, beliefs and opinions...it's great. It was so nice to sit and talk with each other rather than having him playing a computer game with me watching tv. We've learned so much about each other, who we are and what makes us tick as individuals and as a couple in the last couple of months....it's actually been kind of fun...hard work, but fun.
This is a man who seems to be sooo attached to his tightie-whities it's not even funny...who goes out of his way to avoid being seen naked. I was getting definite signals he wanted some action of some type...unfortunately it's that time of the month for me...BUT that won't stop me...he did get a very nice sensual massage and BJ ;-)
