Thank you so much, allmyfault. You're an inspiration to me so your words do help. I did stay home to work today but haven't done ANYTHING - woke up with the beginnings of a bad cold all of a sudden - and now I think I'll go driving and take myself out to eat because it's a beautiful day for a change. This morning H came into the bedroom and sat and talked with me for a good while - nothing "personal", just about his feelings about service yesterday and nervousness and excitement about grad school - things so deeply "him" that I think they're personal but he probably doesn't. I thought he was going to say something about R because he kept looking at the orchid he gave me for Valentine's Day (before I was seriously DBing and I'd asked him to get me something - he gave me an orchid and a beautiful handmade card and original poem that I guess could be considered romantic or not, depending on how you read it) and then he picked up the card and looked at it for a long time. But he didn't say anything. All the blooms have fallen off the orchid and I keep expecting him to say something about maybe that means it's time for him to go (I keep thinking of a short story I read a long time ago about how a woman who was very ill said she would hang on until the last leaf fell off the tree outside her window that fall, and she eventually recovered because one leaf never fell, and it turned out her friend or lover had actually painted it on her window - I wonder if I should go get another orchid that's still blooming). But he didn't say anything, just put it back (I have it standing on a table next to the orchid). His stomach was making a lot of noise, which it does when he's very nervous, but he could have been nervous about going to meet the professor who may be his dissertation advisor, I don't know.
Anyway - thanks for your encouragement. I hope you're having a good day - did you exercise? I didn't walk last night - too cold and I was sore - but I'll try tonight.
