Alright you two....now it's time for a *VERY* serious question - what if having OR talks is a 180 for me?
For much of my M, I resisted R talks - or at least made them difficult by defending myself and being "logical" against her emotions and feelings.
So - for *me* - the willingness to have an R talk IS a 180 I wish to emphasize - not only for the knowledge I gain about her inner emotional turmoil and what she's "thinking" - but also for mysef as this is a "change" I'm making for myself.
Does that make sense? IOW, for me, having R talks - IS a change I'm making for myself.
A further benefit for me in having R talks when she brings them up, is that it allows me to demonstrate to her and to myself that the old reasoning self is dead and replaced by the new/old "understanding" person (James - do note that I've changed "Always Agree" "Always Understand!). So, by having R talks, I can "act" a change that I've made for me that she *likes*.
So.....thoughts? Is it still in my best interest to avoid R talks when she brings them up - or, in my case, since they represent "change" on several fronts/active and liked 180s - ought I embrace the chances to have these talks?
FWIW, I have not instigated any R talks for several months now - merely waiting until she brings them up and cheerfully and readily going with and proving to *myself* that I can listen and be understanding....
Thoughts from you two are very much appreciated - along with everyone else.
