Wow alot of great advice. But here is my trap. And going back on it now I realize that many times in my marriage I wasn't being judged by what my actions were. I was being judged by what her first Husbands actions were. Now I never really wanted to hear the full details from it. I just know he had an affair. I leave things at that, because I believe the marriage between my wife and I is just the two of us. But regularly in the "talking traps" her XH comes up. And she use's it as an honesty benchmark.
And no matter what it is a losing arguement for all. Now frankly my wife is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And I thank God regularly for her XH for doing what he did. But now I don't think that way. It takes two to ruin a marriage. Not one.
But I'm only going to worry about changing myself. Sure to help save my marriage. But to be honest. More to save my own life. Hopefully some of this will rub off on my wife.
And I know I have to avoid those baited talking points that do nothing but bring out "it's all your fault anger".
